Question: My colleague misguided me on a new opportunity and then went on to grab it.
Fact: You weren’t sure, and so did not sign up.
Many good peer-level relationships break down because of mistrust. Two colleagues-might have been great friends, but sometimes ,t takes just one or two incidents for them to call .each other traitor’, ‘back-stabber’, etc.
Usually, when an employee gets a better opportunity inside or outside a company, and he is not sure about taking it up, he consults his trusted colleagues. When he turns it down after consultations, and then goes on to find that his trusted colleague has taken it up, he gets upset and thinks that his colleague was opportunistic and had misguided him. Sometimes, such a reaction is uncalled for as the colleague might have got interested in the opportunity only after the person who first gat the offer turned it down. Yes, he could have shared his decision, but then he might not save felt the need as he had made up his mind and did not require any advice.
People provide their inputs based on how they see an offer. Some of them think through and provide detailed advice, while a few others react instinctively. But finally, it’s up to the person concerned to assess the offer In the best possible way and arrive at the right decision.
WHAT CAN YOU DO? Realize your weakness: it could be lack of self-confidence which made you turn down the offer or you are averse to taking risks. You might have delayed the decision, and so missed the opportunity. An opportunity lost for you could be a gain for your colleague. Trust your own instincts. Seeking advice is good, but the decision to act or not is your decision. You cannot complain in these circumstances.